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February 2nd, 2006

05:43 pm - shopathometv.com
Item no: 30033965
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Item no: 30038002 (three rings, eternity, florence henderson)

Item no: 30033976 (1/2) long baguettes

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Item no: 30036607 2 trillion channel set!
Item no: 30038380 2 round prong channel filigree
Item no: 30038741 huge, chuncky 3 row knuckle to knuckle

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April 12th, 2005

05:04 pm

Infidelity in Relationships


Jo Collier, Amanda Dorman, Kenny Plank & Darren Vandergriff



  1. Introduction
  2. Defining Infidelity to Create Shared Meaning
    1. ________________= unfaithfulness to a moral obligation
    2. _________________=  voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband
    3. _________________=  to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud  
    4. _________________=  a romantic or passionate attachment or episode between lovers typically of limited duration; a matter occasioning public anxiety
    5. _________________=  in relation to an adulterous partner, the primary partner is the faithful partner of the unmarried heterosexual or homosexual cohabiting couple; a “spousal equivalent.”
    6. _________________=  to have casual or illicit sexual relations with a woman or with many women; especially : to be sexually unfaithful to one's wife
    7. _________________=  a woman other than his wife with whom a married man has a continuing sexual relationship.

                                                               i.      Other less-sexist words for this are _______________ & _______________

  1. The Dark Communication of Infidelity in Relationships
    1. Unhealthy Roles and behaviors of the people involved

                                                               i.      The Cheater

1.       Famous Cheater who lied to the Outside Person _________________

2.       Famous Cheater who lied to Primary Partner ____________________

                                                             ii.      The Primary Partner

1.       Famous Ignorant Primary Partner _______________________

                                                            iii.      The Outside Person

1.       Famous Mistress ____________________

2.       Famous Outside Man _________________

  1. Healthy Communication
    1. Pre-Cheating, Preventative Constructive Communication

                                                               i.      Shared meaning, mutual understanding discussion

                                                             ii.      Red Flags

1.       Does your Partner Thrive on ____________________?

2.       Did your partner have more _____________________?

3.       Does your partner have a lot of _______________ friends?

4.       Does your partner have friends who________________?

5.       Did/Does your partner have a parent who _________________?

6.       Did your partner in _______________________ a past relationship?

7.       Does your partner feel that infidelity is not __________________?

                                                            iii.      Emotional Infidelity: A fertile ground for an affair

þ      You have horrible fights that often begin over small issues.

þ      You have little or no sex.

þ      You feel like you don't have much in common anymore.

þ      You resent past treatment by your spouse that you can't get past it.

þ      One of you feels controlled by the other.

þ      One or both of you is simply no longer attracted to the other.





                                                           iv.      The AIDS Pact—a conversation to save your life.

    1. Post-Cheating, Healthy Communication

                                                               i.      Rebuilding

1.       Regaining Trust

2.       Giving up the warden mode

3.       Forgiving

4.       Giving up the victim mode

5.       Re Connecting

þ      Have Five Touch Points a Day

þ      Have Four Talk Points a Week

þ      Have a Weekly Date Night

þ      The Honeymoon Night

                                                             ii.      Breaking Up

1.       The Pros and Cons

2.       Leaving for the right reasons

3.       Interested outside parties

    1. The Third Alternative

                                                               i.      Non-Monogamy= ____________________________________________________

                                                             ii.      Swingers = _________________________________________________________

                                                            iii.      “An Understanding”

  1. Conclusion: 


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February 21st, 2005

11:40 pm

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09:36 pm

Covenant Marriages


After reading several different articles and seeing local news stories about the so called “covenant marriage” bill being proposed in Tennessee, I’m beginning to formulate my opinions about this bill.  According to the Sidelines Opinion Poll, I am one of the 22% of MTSU folks who think this will be “OK as an option for some people.”  As with any bill, I know that much of it has to do with the politics of making the bill’s sponsors and writers more popular, rather than actually solving some social issue that needs to be addressed legally. Republican Senator Jim Bryson is probably trying to make himself look like a real ‘Family Values’ type of leader; and “protecting the sanctity of marriage” is a real hot way to get noticed right now.

However, despite my mistrust in any bill proposal designed to legally “protect the sanctity of marriage,” I find that I think this covenant marriage idea is actually a step in the right direction when it comes to lowering the escalating divorce rate.  I guess I’d give any ‘marriage-saving’ legislation a chance if it’s not actually designed to protect the privileges of the heterosexuals or oppress the homosexuals, or shame the single mothers.  So much of the “protections” for the “sanctity of marriage” are actually evil, manipulative laws that are supposed to shut minorities out for religious reasons.  And although this covenant thing is probably based on some religious opposition to the divorce rate, it really does have a lot of good ideas.  Some may not understand why I think this might be a good idea because the entire institution of marriage privileges heterosexuals and promotes sexism.  But I don’t dislike marriage.  I’m all for marriage.  I don’t think marriage has to be about a men owning women…rather ONE man owning ONE woman.  I think that’s the way it is NOW, but that can change.  It can change and it will change; within my lifetime.  I’m sure of it.  But anyways, back to covenant marriages.  I’ve picked out a few things from the proposal that I like.     

  1. First of all, despite it’s horribly Judeo-Christian moniker, the fulfillment of this bill can happen secularly with non-religious pre-marital counseling. I was glad to realize that; I’m really squeamish about legal matters that are heavily rooted in religion—and rightly so!
  2. In addition to being easily very civically obtained, participation in a covenant marriage is purely voluntary on the part of the couple. Sure a couple is bound by the marriage agreement once they sign the paper, but choosing to seek a covenant marriage is totally the choice of the two people involved. No one will penalize the non-cov couples for by-passing this opportunity. It’s not like anyone will be financially benefited from obtaining one of these marriages.  It will cost the same as, or sometimes more than a regular marriage (depending on pre-marital counseling fees).
  3. I think these counseling sessions and lengthier/more difficult divorces will hopefully lead to more open and honest communication between couples seeking to wed or wanting divorce.  I think discussion, talk therapy and counseling will help couples better know each other before a marriage happens so they can decide if it’s really a good idea to wed.  That is how I think the divorce rate will drop.  And pre-divorce counseling might even keep a couple from needing a divorce at all.  Even if talking can’t fix huge problems in a marriage, it sure as hell can help people reach an amicable understanding so the kids don’t suffer.

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June 1st, 2004

05:34 pm - VOTE DAMMIT!

I'm so happy that our W4W "vote dammit" tshirts are here!  WooHooo!  I'm going to pick mine up on Wed at noon. 

Everyone should register and vote!  And NOT FOR BUSH!

"I am a patriot/I have been fighting the good fight" (Ani DiFranco)


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May 23rd, 2004

02:30 pm - ["Been Around The World And I/ I Can't Find My Baby"]

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

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May 14th, 2004

02:45 am - Dear Dream King,

I don't believe you're leaving me cause me and Charles Manson like the same ice creamCollapse )

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April 11th, 2004

03:55 am - Oh How Did They Know!
Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledee
Your Secret Kink ThingYou like dead people. A lot.
Your Sexual StrengthYour hot-tub antics..
Your Sexual WeaknessYou're terrified of penises.
Your Likely STDLymphogranuloma Venereum
How Many Partners in Crime?Ha! You're a SLUT!
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

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March 12th, 2004

04:36 am - Hail to the Theif

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March 4th, 2004

01:04 am - "A chapter in the book on the Americas: See, I come from privelege, too"
Dear Scooter Boys and Argentineans,

"Europe Shed the Blood of the Indians/and here I sit in the land of plenty, cryin about my own virginity"

As if you have not noticed yet, I use so many lyrics from songs as header, salutations, closings and post frames. I love the song, "Scooter Boys." Very activist. I'm sick of all this pop music bullshit that does not take a stand about anything. It's not enough to have a memorable hook, a hot bod, a bitchin video, and a killer, infectious tune.

Part of the power of celebrity is having a voice and an audience. I would kill for motivational power of that magnitude. And all these fuckin teeny-bop stars don't use their power to influence voting or safe sex or positive body image or the over toppling of the systems of oppression or even consciousness-raising about the systems of oppression. What good is having a voice that can mobilize if a person does not use it to promote a worthy cause? Granted, gettin down w/ a honey or getting one's groove on are important causes for mobility, but not every song should promote the hedonist lifestyle. The voice of music is so homogeneous. No matter the genre, all popular music that really sells seems to be about the same shit.

At this summer's Girl's Rock n Roll Camp, I so badly want to teach a class on the ethics of being a rock star. I want these young, creative girls to be responsible. It's not just about making money. I want them to feel an obligation to enforce positive values and espouse feminist/activist beliefs in the ideology of their bands. These are young, impressionable girls and I want them to learn, from the get-go, while their minds are still fresh, that having their voices heard is not the only reason they are at the camp. These musicians must see that learning to trust and empower their own voices is not the end goal, but rather a life skill that is to be used toward an end goal of contributing something meaningful and positive to this world.

And I know that in today's world we shy away from burdening the adolescent mind with obligation. But, from a purely ethical stand point, I feel that we must instill in these folks a desire to rock for some reason. Not just Rock for Rock's sake. Not just Punk for Punk's sake. It's cool to teach the youth to jam, but I feel that we must instill in them a sense of purpose that is beyond their own bodies.

Yep, come summer's end, we'll have ourselves a 14-18 year old army of stellar riot grrls, feminists, rockers, and activists. This will be the best group ever.

You're just another Colonial Terrorist,
Indigo Girls
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: ironic, yes: "Get Low" by Little John & the East Side Boyz

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